When writing about what your company does, your top priorities should be clarity and concision.
Explaining your value proposition can be tough. You may feel a pull to use language that makes you sound more professional. But more often, it just gets confusing.
Below is an example of bad value proposition:
"Our human approach matches Canis lupus familiaris subjects to an appropriate associate, facilitating an appropriate health and movement regimen relative to recommended activity for each client."
After reading that sentence, can you confidently say what the company does? Probably not - this is an example of an unclear and wordy value proposition.
This might make sense to the person who wrote it, but it needs work. Here's what we would suggest:
- Avoid industry jargon and lingo as much as possible
- Challenge yourself to write your value proposition using only one sentence
- Challenge yourself again to shorten that sentence
- When you're done, read it like you're a prospect who has never heard of your company before
Now read an example of a good value proposition:
"We walk dogs."
Right away, you could safely conclude that this company is probably in the dog walking business. Why?
- It's clear
- It's concise
Both examples mean the same thing, but a focus on clarity and concision makes a huge difference in being understood.
Keep this example in mind as you think about your value proposition.